Born Focused
Cry by Alvin Ailey
Do you ever wonder what’s behind the sensationalism of rags-to-riches stories?
It’s not that I don't get it, but why is that always the angle of a famous person’s news story? Why isn't it great to have been born into normalcy and to have been so focused and diligent that the person became what they’d planned—a great story.
On one hand, I can understand how profound it is when someone manages to pull themselves back up after a horrific childhood or single experience, and they meet great success on the other side of that. The experience helps guide them in the direction of their goals at a late age. But this mentality makes people think that their “normal” isn’t profound enough or good enough to be shared or told.
I often hear “I was born into a “normal” family, with normal issues and normal struggles a family of 4 could have. And I did what I was supposed to do, why isn’t that great news?” I never strayed in the wrong direction. Now I have made my share of mistakes but nothing had the ability to deter me.
Why do those who haven’t experienced many obstacles, and who know from the moment they were born what they want, not receive the opportunities to share their stories?
It’s because tragedy, despair, and bad choices sell. We glorify heartache and disaster.
Why are you only significant and impactful, or someone worth writing about, if you’ve come through a horrific, life-altering event to become who you are today? Why is it not okay to be born focused?
To know who you are, battle your own insecurities and demons, and become what you’ve always dreamed for yourself is no walk in the park. It comes with a lot of bullying and a lot of loneliness.
For as long as I can remember, I have been focused on one thing—succeeding as a dancer. I never wanted to be the one in the back in the supporting role, even though playing those parts have been just as satisfying. My dream was to be the best. Since I was a little girl, I was determined to do all I had to do so I could do all I wanted to. I knew I could become all the things in my head if I just remained focused.
I was made fun of for opting out of the parties and choosing not to cut school. I was labeled “uncool” and “a prude.” Choosing not to cut class or try drugs was looked upon like I was a goodie- two-shoes, and as someone who wasn’t willing to take risks or be able to relax and have fun. For me, it was never those things that mattered. I was just focused on what I wanted, and anything I felt would deter me from that dream had no room in my life. I made a pact with myself:
I was in fear of not achieving my highest potential so I remained laser -focused on the path to greatness.
Why isn’t the story that I managed to remain focused in order to achieve my goals rather than the story that I overcame a horrific childhood, with a single mother who struggled to pay the bills, to become this great dancer.
Growing up in Brooklyn, NY, comes with a lot of distractions. Remaining focused is quite an achievement. Some of us know from the day we are born what we want and we live toward achieving it, and I think that’s extremely special.
If it doesn’t serve me and my dream, I don’t do it. If it doesn’t get me closer to my goal, I don’t do it.