The Loneliness of Success
My intention is to speak directly to the boss ladies out there, especially myself.
No matter how close you are to your friends and family, it will feel as if no one gets you, understands you, or can help you when you have to put out a fire or handle the emergencies that tend to happen all at the same time, especially when you are unavailable.
Know this to be true. Yes! Realize it. Accept it. You are attempting to build an empire. You’ve decided to go out on your own and build your own business. It was you, not your friends, not your family, not even that team you assembled and paid to help you build that empire. None of them are there for you, nor should you expect them to be.
You have decided to put pen to paper, roll up your sleeves, and form an LLC—a corporation and nonprofit. Remember, it was your idea and vision, and you need to understand that you will be alone in this climb to success or this fall to failure.
No matter how close you are to your friends and family, it will feel as if no one gets you, understands you, or can help you when you have to put out a fire or handle the emergencies that tend to happen all at the same time, especially when you are unavailable.
Jokes on you, boss lady. You will never have a day off again.
The stress of the day-to-day tasks and deadlines will be no one else’s but your own. Those daily to-do lists you create are only a fraction of the things that need to get done. You will search your mind to find the answers to questions you didn’t even know you had to respond to. You will gain haters and naysayers who secretly wish you would fall on your face. And you will also lose friends. You will sacrifice family birthdays and important holidays just to meet deadlines. You will be questioned and challenged by people who have no clue of the personal and professional experiences that afforded you the gift of starting and running your own business. You will have to humble yourself time and time again to ask for help. You’ll forget that people will say no and are allowed to say no. You’ll find that good help will cost you; hell, bad help will cost you. You will be disappointed by the lack of concern for your well-being or of respect for your time. Ultimately, you will spend countless hours learning, building, writing, paying, planning, praying, and sometimes crying to achieve what you envision.
But when you get to the other side of the struggle, it will all be worth it. At least, that’s what all successful people say.
Today I’m trying to focus my attention on the parts of having a business that brings me joy. I’m arming myself with a good therapist and a daily cup of tea and my man. I drive him crazy, but he listens, keeps me in check, challenges my ideas, and forces me to sit the heck down!
What will help you feel like you can handle it all is taking one step at a time and breathing. I’m constantly stopping what I’m doing in the middle of a task and taking a deep breath.
In the midst of you visualizing the future, you need to remain grounded and planted fully in the process and joy of the work. You will need to stay close to your spiritual guides and remind yourself to sleep. You will need to remind yourself of why you started in the first place, of what pushed you or motivated you to go out on your own. Keep that in the front of your mind.
You will also need to grow wings, be in five places at once, and buckle up for a lonely ride. And if you are lucky, you will connect yourself to your clone and pray they don’t leave your side.
Good luck, and Don’t Quit!